About me

I would love to introduce the new and improved Courtnee.. I have been so many different Courtnee's over the years and I will tell you what - This version is by far my absolute favorite. Let me share a little bit about how I got to where I am. I will forewarn you - it's not pretty. 

About four years ago something happened within my immediate family that rocked my entire world. To. The. Core. I did not take the news well, I did not handle any thing about the situation well. I went into a deep depression, drank to much, was mad all the time, lived in constant fight or flight. Made bad decision after another, questionable parenting choices, the list can keep going- seriously. I had a small support system, I went to therapy, I was on meds, I did all the things I knew I needed to do, I had been depressed off and on my entire life, this was nothing new. But this, this was a new state of depression for me that I had never met yet. It was the darkest place I have ever been in my entire life. It was the hardest place I have ever crawled out of in my entire life. It took me years to get out of that hole. I lost myself in there and on the way out I lost people that I never thought I would loose. When I "lost" these people I grieved this lose like it was a death because to me that is exactly what it was. A death of the relationship that we will never ever have again. That bridge will never come back from the ashes - ever- Full disclosure - I take full accountability of the role I played in the demise of the relationship I am referring to. It was because of the demise of said relationship that my biggest and most amazing transformation happened. I have had the most amazing spiritual awakening experience and it changed my life, I have faith that my life is being guided as best as possible by the divine. I trust that things will just work out. And it is the best feeling ever - living and walking in gratitude daily is amazing. And I have to thank those who left my life because when they did it made me want to search for answers so I looked within at myself and I would have never realized how amazing I am had they never left me.  

I am a Phoenix.... I have burned and came back from the ashes. I have been reborn into an alchemist. Come Wander with me.